


Wise Men Say (I’m Too Sexy for my Shirt)

by elletromil



Series: The sound of the whistle 'cross radio wires (I finally found you) [4]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Fluff, Getting Together, Humor, Plotted before TGC even came out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:42:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24950260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elletromil/pseuds/elletromil
Summary: “Debrief’s all done? You’ll come meet us then?” There’s what she calls a ‘giggly’ quality to Eggsy’s voice even through the glasses, which means he’s definitely a few beers into his night. It’s a shame she’ll have to disappoint him.“Sorry Eggsy. I’m beat, I’m going home.”
Relationships: Merlin/Roxy Morton | Lancelot
Series: The sound of the whistle 'cross radio wires (I finally found you) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/613462
Comments: 7
Kudos: 32





	1. I'm Too Sexy

**Author's Note:**

> So as stated in the tags above, this completely ignores TGC because I had this plotted since 2016 back when the sequel wasn't out yet. It was a simpler time. Or well, I didn't need to ignore so many canonical deaths at the very least.
> 
> Also please ignore the sudden jump into present tense. I only realised after I finished writing the whole thing that the two previous fics had been written in past tense which I rarely do and I seriously don't know why I did in the first place.
> 
> The two songs in this fic are "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred and "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley. The last one was entirely chosen so I could make (what I think is) a funny title, but ended up fitting extremely well with the ending, so go past me!

“Debrief’s all done? You’ll come meet us then?” There’s what she calls a ‘giggly’ quality to Eggsy’s voice even through the glasses, which means he’s definitely a few beers into his night. It’s a shame she’ll have to disappoint him.

“Sorry Eggsy. I’m beat, I’m going home.”

“What? Come on Roxy, nooo. We’re all here!” She can practically _hear_ Eggsy’s pout. “Well except for you and Harry.”

Harry frowns at Eggsy’s insistence, but she waves him off when she sees he’s about to tell him off for his manners. She’s a big girl. She can deal with her tipsy friend by herself.

“As soon as the cab gets here, Harry will be on his way. And you’ll forget all about me when you see him.” She ignores the 'not true’ Eggsy interrupts her with. Of course it’s not true. Eggsy doesn’t play favourite with the people he loves, even when one of those is his soulmate. But Harry will happily distract him. “Besides, karaoke is not really my scene.”

She can’t remember the last time she sang something. It’s not who she is.

And she’d feel bad for her soulmate, but considering she’s never heard anything from him beside the occasional humming, well… he’s got no legs to stand on.

And to be honest, it suits her just fine. She’s only just recently come to a point in her life she’s happy with. She knows herself and she is confident about what she can do, but not so proud as to not ask for help when she needs it.

She knows no two soulmate pairs are alike, but she still can’t stand the thought that her soulmate would be someone that would have _completed_ her. She needed to find herself first. And even if she never meets him, she doesn’t feel like she’ll have missed out on something.

She chose for herself the different relationships she nurtured. And they feel all the more important to her because of it.

And if she’s thinking about one of those relationships in particular, well, she just knows that Merlin feels likewise. They just need to admit it. Which will probably be sooner rather than later if she has anything to do with it.

She’s vaguely aware that Eggsy has kept trying to convince her to change her mind as she makes her way out the shop with Harry, but they don’t really pay him any attention. That is until Eggsy cuts himself off with a loud expletive.

Instantly, Harry shifts into full-on Arthur mode, ready for a fight. It’s kind of cute how defensive he gets over Eggsy even though there’s not much he could possibly do in their current circumstances if Eggsy was indeed in trouble.

“Shit, Rox! I can’t believe it, your dads actually did it! Merlin’s going to sing! Let me switch to recording and I’m sending you the feed!”

The call cuts and Harry visibly relaxes at her side with an amused smile.

“You’re sure you don’t want to join us?” Harry offers her one last time as Roxy opens the cab’s door for him.

“Tempting,” because sure she doesn’t want to sing, but giving Merlin shit for whatever performance he’s going to put on would be _fun_. “But I’ll still pass. I’m-”

She stops abruptly, slightly disturb by something that has _never_ happened before.

She can hear someone actually _singing_ in her head.

 _I’m too sexy for my love_  
_Too sexy for my love  
_ _Love’s going to leave me_

“Roxanne my dear, are you okay?” Harry is peering at her curiously from inside the car, slightly tensed.

She’s about to answer when their glasses ping with a new call from Eggsy, his feed opening up in a corner of the lenses. But more than the video of Merlin pretending to coyly lift his shirt, it’s what he is singing that makes her gasp with shock. Or rather, how it’s a perfect match to what she’s currently hearing from her soulmate.

_I’m too sexy for my shirt_

Harry now looks downright worried and it doesn’t help when she starts laughing. Roxy has never been one to believe that the universe could be sending her signs, but this once, she’s willing to entertain the idea. Eggsy is apparently not the only one tired of watching her and Merlin dance around each other.

“On second thought, I think I need to come.”

And if Harry looks confused, he wisely chooses not to ask any question and simply slides over so that Roxy can sit next to him.


	2. Can't Help Falling in Love

No matter what his friends would say about it, Merlin isn’t currently hiding in the loo. Rather, he’s strategically made an exit from the main area of the bar until such a time that a new performance will make everyone forget about his own inadvisable appearance behind the mic.

Even now, he’s not entirely sure how he came to be toasting James’ miraculous return from the dead to doing his very own rendition of a song he’s going to pretend very hard doesn’t exist from now on. He really should have listened to his instinct when Richard had waved him over and simply ignored the men. Now that he is thinking about it, _of course_ whenever the two men and alcohol are involved together in a karaoke bar, that would spelled doom to whoever was foolish enough to come near them.

He’d be relieved that neither Harry nor Roxy had been there to see him yet, but he’s certain one – if not all – of the Knights present now have recorded his performance. The video is going to be making the rounds at Kingsman faster than the latest gossip about their counterparts at MI-6. And considering the infamous rivalry between the two agencies, that’s saying something indeed.

Admittedly, he’s got nothing to be truly ashamed of. Sure the song he chose was maybe not the most tasteful, but at least it was in his vocal range. And alright, he might have inadvertently flashed more of his chest than he’s truly comfortable with at one point, but while he doesn’t have a Knight’s training, he’s far from being in bad shape. And yes, okay, everyone is going to take the piss out of him for quite some time, but he doesn’t actually mind it so much, not when it’s been so long since they’ve had any chance to kick back a little and have some fun without the world going to shit.

He just can’t quite believe he’s _sung_ something out loud. In public.

It’s always been something that has felt deeply private to him, even when it had become clear he didn’t have a soulmate of his own.

But it had been quite hard to remember his reasons why while he was standing on the makeshift stage with the people who were family in all but blood egging him on.

So what if he doesn’t have someone that can hear him no matter the distance? Right there, right then, he had been surrounded by people who he knew would stand by him no matter what, even without some fated bond.

And he hadn’t need destiny to fall in love with the most amazing woman he had ever met. One who, just like him, had never looked for someone to complete her, but instead for someone who would understand her. And even if they haven’t said anything yet, he’s convinced they’ve found exactly that in each other.

He really hopes Roxy will come by tonight. Even if she will only make fun of him and probably convince him to perform another ridiculous song. She is her fathers’ daughter after all. But even without having inherited their manipulative genius, he knows he simply wouldn’t have it in him to refuse her anything.

His musings are interrupted when Harry barges into the bathroom. Which cad only mean he has picked the lock, because Merlin distinctly remembers locking the door behind him after making sure no one was in the stalls.

“There you are! Come on hurry, you don’t want to miss this!”

Merlin doesn’t bother protesting or asking what he’s talking about and let’s Harry drag him out by the wrist. He’s learned long ago that when Harry gets this smugly mischievous expression, it’s better for all involved to just follow his lead.

It doesn’t take long to figure out that Harry’s delighted glee had to do with Roxy once he spotted her stepping behind the mic.

What takes longer than he’ll ever admit however is how long it takes him to figure what is giving her voice that echo-y quality once she starts singing.

_Wise men say  
Only fools rush in  
But I can’t help falling in love with you_

In fact, it’s only when Roxy finally finds him in the crowd and their gaze meet that realisation dawns on him.

“Oh.”

It’s so soft that even Harry can’t hear him and for a time he feels like a deer frozen in the headlights, too scared to even breathe.

But then Roxy smiles at him and whatever half-formed worries that came with the sudden realisation that he does indeed have a soulmate don’t matter anymore. Even if it’s not mutual, he knows they’ll figure it out.

But as he abandons Harry in favor of walking up her, something tells him that’s not the case.

_Darling, so it goes  
Some things are meant to be_

He takes her offered hand to step on the stage with her to finish the song together, heedless of the many catcalls from their friends and family.

It’s hard to care about anything but the love he has for her, a love he now knows for sure is reciprocated.


End file.
